How to Admit to a Crime, With Grace

Style: Poetry/humor

Statement: Can we have our music stands returned to m206? Thanks. The piece is based off of Diane Burns's "Yes, You Can Ask Me a Personal Question."

I know, right! These jackets are really nice!

Yeah, I’m in the music department.

Nope. Not band.

Ah, no, not orchestra either.

Not guard, either.

Yeah—that—

No, don't apologize! I wouldn’t blame you; we’re a small program.

Two groups–around 39 people, combined?

And not because no one wants to take this class!

We’re just underrepresented!

Well, we don’t do many pop songs…

Actually, it’s rather different from theatre.

Opera? You think we do opera here?

No, no. People who do opera have been doing it for literal decades.

Well, at that point, it depends more on their training rather than natural ability.

Dude. You tell me after you try to sing.

There. Try to breathe without moving your shoulders.

 Yes, I am saying that you’re bad at breathing!